sigh of relief.

family, friends, lights, ornaments, food, melodies, love, joy, true peace, the Light coming into this world;
this is a time for overwhelming contentment ,with everlasting hunger
merry Christmas. listen to heaven.
[oh the sounds of victory]

art.

artwork by makoto fujimura who looks at painting like a form of prayer.

blessing

merry 5 days until Christmas and merry 8 days until onething!!!



excitement continues to fill me...

{comming}

Jesus the God man....hehe.....allen hood said that. i laughed. ha. i'm watching the prayer room right now, and someone praying in there just said the God man Jesus! hehe. i don't really know why that is so funny, it just was. i was thinking today about compromise. i really think that compromise is one of the biggest issues in the church, and it will increase before Jesus comes back. i was thinking about how i compromise at school mainly. how i settle for less, i settle for just another ordinary day. and i know there is more than that, i'm just not sure how to reach that
more.

happy holiday!!!

i love these people :D

• conspire: to act or work together toward the same result or goal

Christmas is in 10 days!!!! yey. which means onething is in 13 days!!!! i'm really excited about it. this week is hectic. i have finals, choir concert and rehearsal, and d-hop. craziness. this weekend was fun. friday i whent to a Christmas party at tori's house and then went to kasey's. sat. morning i went to the fair grounds and sorted toys for the angel tree/salvation army thing. it was alot of work, but totally worth it. then i went home and slept then went to the f-house to watch mike bickle. it was really good. oooooo! i got a new bible sunday from my giving friend kasey. it was such a surprise and i loved it :D i also went to caitlin's piano and voice recital sunday afternoon. it was amazing. then i went to the church Christmas service. well i just thought that i would post since i haven't in a while, but i can't really think of anything to say....so that's that.

bye :D

*near

near: at, within, or to a short distance; close in relation; closely with respect to connection, similarity, intimacy, etc.

i want a mini djembe. so today was good. i was pretty tired though. i will need to learn to get in bed early if i am going to be getting up earlier. that will take some time. the prayer meeting was really good this morning. i am beginning to get that heart of intercession i've been digging for. exciting. i am praying for the eyes and heart that abraham had concerning sodom and gomorrah when i look at my school and this city. he searched for the good and interceded for them. but my outcome will be different, i know!!! my school has been given to not only me but the Kingdom of God. yey. and just to let you know, i love caitlin, kasey, jessa, and olivia. they are some pretty stinking awesome people :D well that's all for today. God is good.

hint of something new in the air...

the smells of Christmas: the smell of holiday treats, burning fires in their fireplaces, pine trees, candy canes...
it's all so exciting! i'm more excited about this Christmas then i have been in along time, and i'm not sure why. i'm so thankful for where God has put me. He has blessed me with an awesome and loving family, saved me from the word, and on top of everything, He has blessed me by being my lover. i really want a deeper understanding of this season. for right now, God is just showing me how He loves to have fun with me, even baking brownies with me! He just loves for us to just delight in each other. He is always good. and that's that. You give and take away, but still my heart will say blessed be Your name.

i pledge my alligence to Jesus.

this picture makes me think of dancing around in the rain, that would be fun. hehe. well this week has been good. God is showing me things that will free me. ha, that reminds me of dancing in the rain too..being free. i read something where someone said they were as free as a canary. i'm baking an apple pie with my mom. it smells so good! the Christmas party is tomorrow. yey!

iwant to die a lot quicker than that
if it's my only way out
i've been counting up the cost
getting up on that cross
wanna know what this is all about
father time steals our days like a thief
there's no price that i wouldn't pay to get some relief
i've become the empy shell of a man I like so well
i am a living, breathing hell

come on and resurrect me

-jon foreman

new camera.

so my brother got a new camera and i'm obsessed with it. here's some pictures i took with it:

this one and the one below were taken by my brother, the rest were me :D

yey :D

'stirrings'

so today was my first meeting at the.....drum roll.....dothan house of prayer!!! (and the crowd goes wild!!!!) God really showed up. it's finally starting. i'm so excited to be apart. so when i checked my mail today, this is what i read in a letter from mike bickle concerning onething:

this will be the eighth year we have hosted the onething conference. years from now, i believe we will look back at this year’s onething as a defining moment in the global prayer movement. i don’t think you will want to miss it and, thus, i strongly encourage you to do whatever it takes—even change your plans—to join us.

so if that isn't a confirmation of me going to onething this year.....then i'm a platypus. seriously. i'm incredible excited about everything the Majestic Glory is doing! He makes me so happy! He has a made a way to enter the holy place.

i'm not alive to live this ordinary life.

and i will try
to see this world i live in
with Your eyes
to love this world You've given
with my life
-starfield

state of me:

renewed, and urging to renew the world.

on the greener grass side of life...

life isn't feeling very green right now, so i focus on the greener grass side:

if it is going to be this cold....snow should come along with it.
i feel called to the little things.
i make decisions...not always the right ones...or are they????
God works in strange and mysterious ways....for sure.
i'm going to go and eat fish sticks and potato wedges.
the conference starts tonight.
i hope it lives up to its name.
i'm ready for renewal.

let the branch of the Lord be seen as beautiful and glorious...israel

so i got my shots today. they were painful, but not as bad as i was expecting.
i have a question, why do we get shots if we believe that God is our healer?????
just a thought. i would like your thoughts.
i can't wait to return to ihop.
anyway, i really am feeling the importance of spending time with Him, i don't know why it takes me so long for things to sink in, but i really need Him. He is faithful to show me that over and over again, because i'm so unfaithful over and over again. He wants me to sit with Him in the secret and give Him all of me and for me to request what i want. He wants to give me the nation, the govenment, He wants the knowledge of Him to cover the nations as the waters cover the sea, He wants my family, He wants my school, He wants me...

me.

cwazy me.

so i am trying out for the play high school musical. if i make it, this will be my life for the next 4 months. i am so excited about it and i hope i make it!!!

wow, 3 sentences i thought i would never say :D

if i do make it, it will take up a bunch of time, but it will be incredibly fun. i'll be able to make new friends and hopefully talk to some people about Jesus. so today was day 1 of tryouts and i think i did pretty well with the singing part, but not so much on the dancing. there were 95 people trying out...craziness. let's just hope that all of the really good dancers can't sing at all, hehe, just kidding....kind of :D so i'm looking forward to auditions tomorrow which will be for the lead roles and the last day of auditions will be monday unless i get a call back (crossing my fingers).

i'm happy :D

(smile)

he's going to be even better than them. God has my love story planned out, and i can't wait!!!!!

{conclusion}

most guys are disgusting, so i am even more thankful for the respectful guy friends i have!!!

so i've noticed that i am more compassionate for people who have lost hope or people who don't see any value in their lives than i do for anyone else. my heart breaks for them so easily. there are so many depressed and hurting, in our generation especially. i am going after His heart for these people.

tonight's the scavenger hunt...fun, fun.....yey!!!

[time]

time:
the system of those sequential relations that any event has to any other, as past, present, or future; indefinite and continuous duration regarded as that in which events succeed one another

resplendent:
very bright or shining; splendid

i like these words. time seems to be moving faster and faster...which i was told would happen as i grew older, but didn't realize they were telling the truth. it didn't seem like that was possible. how is that possible? mabey that's why a thousand of our years seems like a second (not literally, just guessing) to God. he's been around forever, which would make Him really old. and if time goes faster as you get older, then mabey that's why..........interesting. oh, and in result of my procrastination of studying for chemistry, i got a 69 on the test. sad.

starting from the top

"when we show kindness in response to evil we have marked a group of people for a visitation of God."
-bill johnson

dear kasey and caitlin,

i love you guys. i haven't seen you guys in four days and i hope you two are well. i would like to hear you guys' opinions on the election. just to let you know, the choir competition went well. we made 2's which is kind of like making b's, but that's okay. i'm excited about seeing you guys this weekend!!!

love,
me

more facts:

1.the fast is over.
2.the election's over.
3.i am privileged.
4.i know alot about myself.
5.there is still alot about myself that i don't know.
6.i like people telling me what they know about me.
7.i missed being at church wednesday.
8.i was glad to meet with mrs. L and others.
9.the unknown sounds are resounding.
10.i want to hear them.
11.if i knew more about Him i'd......hmmmm.......

recognizing seasons

-introspection: observation or examination of one's own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself

"O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. " -Psalm 139 1-2

exravagant devotion:

is what He wants us to have.
i was praying yesterday asking God what He wanted the kids to sing to Him and i felt like He said He just wants us to sing our love for Him, all the time.
that made me happy.
so it's finally november. 2 1/2 days till the election. oh God, be our Messiah.
His is good, He is faithful, He is God.
this month is going to be good.

days we've been waiting for.

well, todays the big day. not halloween, but the night of worship. yey!!!
did you know that today is actually the day that martin luther (not king, just luther) posted the 95 thesis on the door of the catholic churches and is also know as the reformation celebration?
just a random fact.

procrastination.

i'm tired, and i do not feel like studying chemistry.
this is my form of procrastination.
hum-diddy-dum-bum-bum-flum-cum-dum-do-bop.
i'm tired.
i hope i get to take a nap before the all nighter.
i wish jon foreman were here to sing me to sleep right now.
his fall c.d. is perfect for that.
one day my husband will sing to me.

by the way caitie, this was the song i was thinking of:

instead let there be a flood of justice
an endless procession of righteous living, living
instead let there be a flood of justice
instead of a show
i hate all your show

resurect me.

i am so glad it's finally cold enough to where i have a reason to drink tea and hot coco and things of that nature. not that there's really any need for a reason to drink such things. i think it is exciting to do things out of season. for example: drinking hot drinks in the summer and icys in the winter, jumping around and dancing in worship when the music is really slow, wearing gloves inside, etc. i just burnt my tongue on my tea. ouch.

i love that feeling when you put your nose as close to the tea as you can without wetting your nose and inhale. the wonderful smell, the warm steam. kind of like on cartoons when you see the steam going into their nostrils. i wonder if i look like them.

the setting of my story is great right now. outside the window: the sun is in mid-setting making the tips of the trees glow golden, slightly swaying against the still bright blue sky, leaves scattered on the ground, the essence of late fall. inside the window: me sitting at the computer desk with gloves on, steam emitting from the cup of tea, jon foreman's my love goes free playing in the speakers.

this is the first season of autumn that i have really embraced it and enjoyed it.

i love the honesty and frank-ness that is released in songs. i would like to ride a train someday, before the other industries of transportation overtake train riding.

back to reality. when i start writing or reading, especially when i am listening to music that reflects what i am writing, i drift into this world. like a fantasy world. a world full of creativity, warmth and cold, it's hard to explain. it's kind of like that feeling i get when i get a song. i feel years older. something along those lines.

i am still really excited about the night of worship. i still have alot of stuff to do for my room. i can't wait for Him to show up!!!

oh my goodness. so today i was driving downtown, and this guy just walked out in front of me!!! so i slammed on my breaks (thank God for those things) and stopped before i hit him. as i was hitting the breaks he just stopped. why do we do that?!?! when we see something coming at us, we just stop, pause, then we run. we are strange creatures.

"the moon is a magnet. everyone's at it. everyone's had it. love is a sadness. love is a madness. we are the addicts."
what does this mean?

i just finished my tea and the cup is still steaming.

word with breath so close it warms the ears

i want to stay close to the fire in your eyes.to the burdens of your heart.i don't want to grow cold.so come and set your seal of love upon my heart.love as strong as death.till i'm forever yours.i want to be found in the council of the Lord.with a heart that's after yours.i don't want to grow cold.so come and set your seal of love upon my heart.love as strong as death.till i'm forever yours.all consuming fire of love.come burn away what hinders love.till i am only yours.you are fairer than the sons of men.you stand above them all. how i love you. -cory asbury

i want to be SO close that when He whispers, i feel the warmth of His breath.

He makes me happy :D

cool friends...

"Kasey said...

1.I like Waffles
2.I think the high voice comes with the high awesomeness of God... :)
3.&4.I hope you had a good time while you were there, and I am glad you aren't sad about it :)
5.I have that good feeling that He wants that too!
6.You are a funny awesome unique person. :)
7.I feel ya, but hopefully you can get all the time with Jesus you need.
8.:)Praise God
9.Maybe that's because you are like Moses.... And you're going to lead ALOT of people out of bondage and captivity! :) Think about it...
10.I would say suggest it to William!! :)
11.If I count as people..... I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!! You have alot in you, more than I know....
12.More than I know......
13.Allelujah!
14.Oh yes, The Spirit of God is ganna show up for reals
15.I believe you will.
16.This thought comes into my mind often.....


(Not the thought that your talking about a guy, but the fact other people might think we are talking about guys other than Jesus....)







I love you !!!.... That was a really long comment.

Caitlin said...

cynthia, oh cynthia..I love it when you post. And I believe in you so much. really I do. I do not just say things. You have such tender heart towards the Lord. You are full of vibrant life.
I think high voices on guys are pretty sweet.:) haha..that was my prayer lastnight, "Lord, take me to the throne room!"
I love you and don't you ever doubt it:):):)"

you guys make me smile :D

exceptional facts:

1. i would like some waffle house right about now.
2. matt gilman has a really high voice.
3. i left the big game at half-time.
4. i'm not that disappointed about leaving the game early.
5. i want to walk in the cool of the day with Him and meditate on His glorious splendor.
6. when i post a blog i always try to start the title with a letter i haven't used before.
7. i've had a busy week.
8. He's made a way for me to enter the holy place.
9. every time i take my shoes off at church i think of moses and how God told him to take off his shoes because he was on holy ground.
10. i've wanted to do a song in youth that sings about freedom since before lauren left.
11. i wonder alot if people believe in me.
12. i wonder how much people who do believe in me think i'm capable of.
    
13. i am His and He is mine. that's all that matters...
14. i'm stoked about the all night of worship.
15. i want to see the lightning and hear the thunder and hear the voices and see the living creatures and the 24 elders and see Him on His throne.
16. i think it would be really funny if someone was reading my blog who didn't know me and didn't know i loved Jesus and thought when i wrote 'He' i was actually talking about some random guy i knew.

bye!

more joy...

today is my mommy's birthday. i am going to make her a b-e-a-u-tiful card...she loves home-made stuff. i love birthdays!!!

p.s. i think it is very funny that people who don't often post usually all post on the same day :D

joy!!! haha.

okay, so i was listening to cory asbury's song 'so good to me' and it's amazing:

"i waited patiently upon the Lord
and He inclined and heard my cry
he pulled me up out of the myre clay
He set my feet upon the rock
He gave me beauty for ashes
and joy for my mourning
and praise for heaviness
He put a new song in my mouth
and a crown upon my head
He gave me life forevermore!

He's been so good, so so good to me, Jesus

cause He picked me up and He turned me around
and He placed my feet on the solid ground
hallelujah, hallelujah

i've got love, joy, peace, and righteousness in the Holy Spirit
oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah"

i'm sitting in the office at my house and i decide to listen to cory asbury, already having heard this song, and when it came on, there was the joy of the Holy Spirit was released and i had to stop reading my e.mails and i started singing along and clapping and dancing in my chair. it is awesome!!!! i'm so happy and excited.

HE'S SO GOOD, SO SO GOOD TO ME!!!

i love joy, and i love the One who gives me joy...my Messiah, the lover of my soul.....JESUS!!!!

up. up. and away...swept up by the Holy One

Messiah, المسيح‎, מָׁשִיַח, משיחא :
the Anointed One; the promised and expected deliverer

exploring new possibilities.

alfresco:
in the open air; outdoors

one day that will be me. traveling off with my suitcase.

for approximately the last 2 hours i have been looking over photography colleges/institutes.

(side note: the word institute kind of scares me. that's what they call the places where crazy people live. which might be convenient, seeing as artists are know to be a bit 'off their rockers'.)

anyway, i have come up with some, or one, very probable prospect. i discovered maryland institute college of art. so this one is actually an institute and college all in one! it is 14 hours and 15 minutes (893mi) from my home, which is 50 minutes closer than kansas city. it has a pretty campus. very artsy, of course. here is some sample artwork from current students:















laura oster (photography)





















carrie deidrich (interdisciplinary sculpture)

the one at the top is ben shipley (photography)

i've decided that if i like the student's artwork at a school, mabey that's the school for me. so this will be put into consideration in my thoughts.

will it ever come to pass? God only knows.

sound effect are rocking my socks off.

there are several things that aren't happening that i would like to happen. so my 'wants' are being demolishes, and i pray that my overall will is coming out of the woodwork. i guess i've got it all together. ha. that's a joke :D at least i know the one who does have it all together.

truth is spoken.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."
-2 Corinthians 3:17-18

"Behold, you will call a nation you do not know, And a nation which knows you not will run to you, Because of the LORD your God, even the Holy One of Israel; For He has glorified you."
-Is 55:5-10
(when we become unified with the Spirit, we will move form evangelism to invitation. they will be attracted to a one-level God. and we will be moving from glory to glory and we'll become glory hogs!!! -Kris Valloton)

"For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin."
-2 Corinthians 11:2

i want to be a glory hog.

the day of the Lord.

i am in the great and awesome days of the Lord and i will pray for it to be on earth as it is in heaven. praise the Lord!!!

click for a sermon by kris valloton on the day of the Lord.

listen,

reality is sickening.

so i'm doing research on human trafficking, suicide, and abortion and the results of this is horrible. it's sad, sickening, and just plain inhumane. i just don't understand how people could do this.

i don't understand.

the sanctity of life needs to be restored.

grace.

beauty in the seasons...

the snow.

this is where i wish to be. sitting in the middle of the path, wearing scarfs, multiple jackets, a hat, etc., with my hot cup of tea that warms me up with every sip, reading....something.

glorious.

kansas city...

Jesus..... i would really like to go to onething this year. please let me go and provide a way....if it's your will.

"may the sight of You be the death of me."
-shane and shane

new world, or rather, new findings.

"Oh stow it, Guv'nor, do stow it," said the Cabby. "Watchin' and listenin's the thing at present; not talking."

- wisdom out of the mouth of the unexpected

i have taken a visit to Narnia through the bound pages of literature, and oh, how wonderful it is. and it is as though no time has passed, just as is within the lines of the story, even though it seems so much has. i will continue to seep into the pages of this world and learn more of the Father through the tellings of another.

just one more.

okay, so i know, three posts in one day...a little extreme, but i'm finding many inspiring lyrics.

Carbon Ribs

John Mark McMillan

A thousand pairs of fiery eyes
Burn like a serpent down the highway 5
As the long amber tail to Los Angeles unwinds
I’ve got this resurrection down inside my skin
But for all my revelating
I just can’t make sense
Our of this gravity we’re in

Cause I’m a dead man now
With a ghost that lives
Within the confines of these carbon ribs
And one day when I’m free
I will sit
The cripple at your table
The cripple by your side

A thousand miles of pain I’m sure
Led you to the threshold
Of my heart’s screen door
To tell me what it is I’m dying for
Gravity comes
Like a cold cold rain
To lead me to the rope again
But someone is standing in my place

Cause I’m a dead man now
With a ghost that lives
Within the confines of these carbon ribs
And one day when I’m free
I will sit
The cripple at your table

And I sit beside you

He's alive::happy day

Your love never fails
By: Jesus Culture

Nothing can seperate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Beause I know that You love me
Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good

if only, if only...

if i were on facebook, this is what my status would be:

Cynthia wishes the bridegroom fast was still going on!!!!.......and is wanting food :D

#1

Jesus is:

the only Hope.

debilitate me.

surrender: to give (oneself) up, as to the police

ha. i laughed.

cynthia's definition:

surrender: being so devoted to something or someone that your immediate reaction to get more of it or them is to give your all to it or them in return for what it or they have to offer.

::

so mabey that's not exactly a definition, but that's what i'm feeling about surrender right now. when i truly have a one on one encounter with the Lord, my first reaction is to give Him everything. i haven't had many of those lately and there are some things i'm needing to surrender....again. but i'm excited about it.

::

You're faithful, You're always the same
You're faithful, You never change
You're faithful, You're always good
and though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i have no doubt You've already gone ahead
my Fire by night, my Cloud by day
and though ten thousand fall to my right and my left
under the shadow of the Most High i find rest

yepo.

blah, busy day.

Jesus needs more room than this!!!

prolific.

if he really knew what he was saying, would it make a difference?



what's the dumb, Kasey, what's the dumb :D

::more thoughts::

is controversy mandatory..........hold it cynthia.......think positive...He's coming back for you....and He loves you too much to let you dwell on those things....so look into His eyes....get lost in those brilliant eyes....go into them......

deeper...
deepe...
deep...
dee...
de...
d...
...
..
.

get lost.

great humor!

thoughts:

everyone on the face of the earth should go see fireproff.

bliss.

Oh the joys of drinking warm tea with the soothing thought that several more of these such instances will come to pass with the ever so slowly approaching winter

[and i love it]

breaking down::inside the sounds

i am a temple
at my best, i still deserve to die
but i'll be glorified in this ridiculous mess



-john mark mcmillan

after the silence comes the rain...

one day every tongue will confess and every knee will bow
and pledge allegiance to Your name, Jesus
until then i will sit behind these walls
of disunity and disarray
i will beg for mercy
i will cry out for grace
until that day when these confining walls com crashing down
...remind me of your hope and your promise that
one day every tongue will confess and every knee will bow
and pledge allegiance to Your name, Jesus

::one word from You can shatter a thousand lies::

i need to hear You in the silence now.

Lord. i am not humble or meek or any of those things you call me to be right now. help me be a servant. i need You. plain and simple. so why do i make it so complicated? do i want what You want? where do all of my wants come from? You or me? do i create this confusion i'm left in or is it real? i think to much, or is that what i'm supposed to do?

help.

i know i'm in this state for a reason. is this Your way of humbling me, of making me realize how i need You so much?



so go the sounds of breaking down.




sincerely,
Your daughter
(who can't stand how things are going)

ahhh.

the experiences that await me in college life.



(wherever that may take place.)

the dreams are coming!

fasting works. yey God, boo devil. this has been one of the best weeks ever, as i'm sure you guys can concur. i'm learning to listen, better than ever. over the summer i got the book the lost art of practicing His presence from some awesome people and it is going to be really coming to use during this fast! i'm so greatful to have older, wiser people who have gone through the part of the journey i'm going through now, and can give me pointers directly from the mouth of the Holy One of Israel. i still long for more, and i know it's coming. i need to give it all away to receive it. boo-ya, i'm excited!

once again:

according to recent polling, 66% of people (out of three) change their favorite color every day. And 33% (out of three) change their favorite color every year.

muse.

so i've come to the conclusion that homework will never end.

recent polling shows...

according to three people, the harmonica totally rocks the socks off of hoola-hooping.

i can type more words a minuet than my father who works on the computer all day :D

1st off, thank you sooooooooooo much kasey and caitlin for encouraging me continually!
so i just typed this long thing, but i decided not to post it because i have no idea who reads this thing :D but, i feel alot better now that i pretty much just vented to the computer! wow, i'm a nerd.
so i was listening to this sermon by bill johnson and he told this story about how he was looking through a fly fishing catalog and they were selling flasks. he thought that was kind of funny, but he really like how they looked. so he was thinking and he thought it would e really cool to have one of those even though he had no use for it. so he was at some meeting of some sort and this lady came up to him and his wife and gave them gifts. his wife opened hers first. she got this nice 'Christian' gift with a bible verse on it and everything. so he opens his...........and it's a flask! pretty much the opposite thing you would give to a Christian man. it really hit him that God listens to every thought we have and likes to please us with the simplest things, even if we don't pray for them. the Lord truly astounds me. well that's enough for today.

hallelujahs in the morning.

DREAMsomething notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality

DREAMa wild fancy or hope

DREAM[something] of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence.

DREAMambition: a cherished desire

(the language i want to speak)

people.

people i know have an abundance in them. an abundance, whether it may be an abundance of artistry, deep thoughts, dreaming, putting words to paper (or computer) in ways that captivate their expressions in wonderful ways, or things that are still hidden from me but that i know that there is something there. it's amazing. i am blessed to have such thriving people in my life.

true love died.

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers broken heart
tears were filling heavens eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died

i wonder. was the Father weeping or rejoicing? that day must have been a true mix of emotions for Him. i mean.....He just let the son die. the sun die. the light of the earth. but because of this loss, He gained everything........the apples of His eye........

US.

but He knew this would come. He knew it had to. but He also knew the end of the story........or the beginning. the fact that the Son is alive. but to see true love in complete agony and anguish. he must have been crying......weeping......wailing. the King of all, wailing. all creation must have felt that. how could it not? but after it was all over, i'm sure of it, he must have been wailing with tears of joy. and, oh, the walls that we couldn't move, the barriers that were holding creation back from the fullness of Glory, were heading straight for the ground. No doubt heaven was partying then. that's one of those tapes i want to watch when i get there. can't wait.


click.....if you want to hear the song......

september 11, 2008

we need to wake up

wake up

live like God
pour out love

sha la la la la la la

i'm really glad that i made this blog. I was just reading through my blog and other peoples, and it makes me really happy to read whats going on in other people live and seeing how they put it into writing. it inspires me extraordinarily. i also enjoy reading through my past. it reminds me of things i had forgotten. it's going to be cool when i've had this for about a year and reading it from the beginning.

so i have discovered something new about myself, which i have bee doing for a long time, but just took note of it. when i discover a new band or just discover that i really like them after knowing about them for a while, i listen to them for about a week straight, and i usually have one of their songs stuck in my head for that period. for example, a few weeks ago the band was enter the worship circle, and this week it has been leeland. then, if i have their cd, i will rotate through the cd's and listen to them at intervals. it's kind of funny. i wonder if everyone does this. hmmm.

last night i was just observing our youth group. it gave me hope. i saw the members of the worship team and it made me smile. they were worshiping in practice and everything was just molding together perfectly. honestly i have been a little concerned lately, but God has just been telling me over and over and over and over that everything is going to be okay. i think it's finally beginning to become reality to me. yey!

i've had this excitement in me for the future and its rising and bubbling up again. when i was looking back, i was greatful for the experiences that i had this summer, but now it is time to look ahead at the rising sun.

I don't want to lose a common ground
With the whole world upside-down
I don't want to fight about it now
And the world was burning out
we are one tonight
and were singing it out
we are one tonight
and were dreaming out loud
and the world is flawed,
but these scars will heal
-switchfoot

weekly update:

so this week was full of excitement!

mon: i was out of school and got to spend time with Jamison, sushi, family, and grandma's home cooked fried
chicken(yum!)
tues: don't really remember (i know, sad)
wed: communion with Jesus but feeling disconnected and not really on track
thurs: meeting three awesome loving God people and got to learn more and more...wonderful worship with people
who really are passionate about the Lord (leeland and brothers and sisters) and..........i got a t-shirt!!!!!!
fri: first home game of the season (we lost [35-21]) which was loads of fun because i am no longer attached to a 40
pound weight. and after we traveled to beff's with new and old friends.

i am very thankful for fun times with awesome friends. i just wish i would get the courage to impact their lives. i am so glad this thing has spell check because i am horrible at spelling at 12:11am. and i have decided that i am going to post lyrics every time i post a new one, so here's the lyrics for today:

i was carried to the table
seated where i don’t belong
carried to the table
swept away by His love
and i don’t see my brokenness anymore
when i’m seated at the table of the Lord
i’m carried to the table
the table of the Lord
leeland-carried to the table

He carries me to the places i'm most unworthy of everyday. He gives me the grace for another day when i deserve hell. He owes me nothing! even though....i ravish Him. i hear this so often and it becomes cliche. i want it to be renewed. if i don't have a new revelation everyday, it begins to fade away in the darkness. He loves me. HE loves ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! my God is too good for me, but i love Him too much to let that keep me from Him, and He feels the same. we are attracted like magnets. nothing can keep us apart. so:

count me in.

light up my life

light up my life

with a love so bright i deny anything with a lesser glow than knowing you
unlock my soul in a way i've never known
crawl into your garden
find your home in me
-the wonderful luke wood

and:

i
REALLY
miss you kasey

fun word of the day:

plethora-

excess; overabundance

1.....2......3......

HE LOVES ME FOREVER

hip-hip-horray!

so........I JUST GOT MY PERMIT!!!!!!!!!! this is a reason to celebrate!

licking peanut butter off my hands...

i decided that I really like Enter The Worship Circle. they have acoustic-ish music that is kind of indie-ish and heart-felt with moving lyrics. I would like several of their cd's.

how high is your love
how high, how deep it's untouched
and i'm not enough
i've found a safe place in you

yepo, well i'm going to get my permit tomorrow morning yey!!!!!! (if I pass the test that is =])

i walk to the meadow...

His love creates meadows of living color, beautiful melodies, and devoted souls. He turns my wretched, weary, unsure, and doubting heart into something more beautiful than the flowers...more magnificent than anything I could imagine. Not only does He make it beautiful, but He makes it HIS. He has loved me first, now I say, "Oh I love you so," because I know he has love me first!!!!

Two things you told me, you are strong and you love me.

Our God in heaven hallowed be thy name above all names.
Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us weary sinners.
Keep us far away from our vices, and deliver us from these prisons.
Your love is strong!

My god is great....and I'm thankful to be able to call Him mine.

bye:)

sweet.

it's pretty awesome that i can listen to about anything on the internet. all you have to do is search a song and...

wa-bam.

there it is. just that easy. www.las.fm/ has a lot of stuff. i am currently listening to Jon Foreman's ep's on there. Yey for easy access to music. well, i slept way too late today...1:30 to be exact. actually more like 12:50ish, i just laid in bed till then. i knew i was tired, but not that tired. i finally got Amaryllie repaired. She didn't even have to be left at metro over night :) i am going to have a very relaxing day, i can tell. Sunday's are always my relaxing days. which is pretty cool, considering Sunday is the sabbath day, isn't it? the little blinking cursor thing that shows you where you are when your typing is blinking to the rhythm of the southbound train :)

bye:)

.

I feel kind of bad, but thankful.

yeah...

blargh....

i want a haircut.

this is a result of caitie...

I am totally worn out.

Watching after little kids who have an ongoing desire to jump on your back can cause this. But it was fun nevertheless...little ones are awesome. It really is a blessing. I'm glad I have the opportunity. I'm kind of scatter brained. Everyone has noticed it...I've been like that these past two days. I'm not sure why..........probably the whole being with kids who have twice your energy thing. Anyway, school starts back in one week. Not to thrilled, but not too bothered by it. It's going to be a hard year. I'm taking Algebra II with Trigonometry and Chemistry at the same time. I will probably have to study for the first time ever...so I hear. But I'm looking forward to the electives, drawing and choir. Art is wonderful. It captivates me. It displays God's beauty in small ways. It is simply fascinating. A cricket is chirping (i guess you call that sound chirping) outside. I desperately have been desiring discernment lately (Caitie, please pray for that for me!). Wow that was a lot of d's in that sentence. But really.....I need it. With everything that's going on and returning to school....I need it. But I know God will provide. His name is El Shadi after all. God.....please help me get enough rest to carry me through until tomorrow night at 9!!! I need your help. Off to bed I go...

Bye.