after the silence comes the rain...

one day every tongue will confess and every knee will bow
and pledge allegiance to Your name, Jesus
until then i will sit behind these walls
of disunity and disarray
i will beg for mercy
i will cry out for grace
until that day when these confining walls com crashing down
...remind me of your hope and your promise that
one day every tongue will confess and every knee will bow
and pledge allegiance to Your name, Jesus

::one word from You can shatter a thousand lies::

i need to hear You in the silence now.

Lord. i am not humble or meek or any of those things you call me to be right now. help me be a servant. i need You. plain and simple. so why do i make it so complicated? do i want what You want? where do all of my wants come from? You or me? do i create this confusion i'm left in or is it real? i think to much, or is that what i'm supposed to do?

help.

i know i'm in this state for a reason. is this Your way of humbling me, of making me realize how i need You so much?



so go the sounds of breaking down.




sincerely,
Your daughter
(who can't stand how things are going)

ahhh.

the experiences that await me in college life.



(wherever that may take place.)

the dreams are coming!

fasting works. yey God, boo devil. this has been one of the best weeks ever, as i'm sure you guys can concur. i'm learning to listen, better than ever. over the summer i got the book the lost art of practicing His presence from some awesome people and it is going to be really coming to use during this fast! i'm so greatful to have older, wiser people who have gone through the part of the journey i'm going through now, and can give me pointers directly from the mouth of the Holy One of Israel. i still long for more, and i know it's coming. i need to give it all away to receive it. boo-ya, i'm excited!

once again:

according to recent polling, 66% of people (out of three) change their favorite color every day. And 33% (out of three) change their favorite color every year.

muse.

so i've come to the conclusion that homework will never end.

recent polling shows...

according to three people, the harmonica totally rocks the socks off of hoola-hooping.

i can type more words a minuet than my father who works on the computer all day :D

1st off, thank you sooooooooooo much kasey and caitlin for encouraging me continually!
so i just typed this long thing, but i decided not to post it because i have no idea who reads this thing :D but, i feel alot better now that i pretty much just vented to the computer! wow, i'm a nerd.
so i was listening to this sermon by bill johnson and he told this story about how he was looking through a fly fishing catalog and they were selling flasks. he thought that was kind of funny, but he really like how they looked. so he was thinking and he thought it would e really cool to have one of those even though he had no use for it. so he was at some meeting of some sort and this lady came up to him and his wife and gave them gifts. his wife opened hers first. she got this nice 'Christian' gift with a bible verse on it and everything. so he opens his...........and it's a flask! pretty much the opposite thing you would give to a Christian man. it really hit him that God listens to every thought we have and likes to please us with the simplest things, even if we don't pray for them. the Lord truly astounds me. well that's enough for today.

hallelujahs in the morning.

DREAMsomething notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality

DREAMa wild fancy or hope

DREAM[something] of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence.

DREAMambition: a cherished desire

(the language i want to speak)

people.

people i know have an abundance in them. an abundance, whether it may be an abundance of artistry, deep thoughts, dreaming, putting words to paper (or computer) in ways that captivate their expressions in wonderful ways, or things that are still hidden from me but that i know that there is something there. it's amazing. i am blessed to have such thriving people in my life.

true love died.

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers broken heart
tears were filling heavens eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died

i wonder. was the Father weeping or rejoicing? that day must have been a true mix of emotions for Him. i mean.....He just let the son die. the sun die. the light of the earth. but because of this loss, He gained everything........the apples of His eye........

US.

but He knew this would come. He knew it had to. but He also knew the end of the story........or the beginning. the fact that the Son is alive. but to see true love in complete agony and anguish. he must have been crying......weeping......wailing. the King of all, wailing. all creation must have felt that. how could it not? but after it was all over, i'm sure of it, he must have been wailing with tears of joy. and, oh, the walls that we couldn't move, the barriers that were holding creation back from the fullness of Glory, were heading straight for the ground. No doubt heaven was partying then. that's one of those tapes i want to watch when i get there. can't wait.


click.....if you want to hear the song......

september 11, 2008

we need to wake up

wake up

live like God
pour out love

sha la la la la la la

i'm really glad that i made this blog. I was just reading through my blog and other peoples, and it makes me really happy to read whats going on in other people live and seeing how they put it into writing. it inspires me extraordinarily. i also enjoy reading through my past. it reminds me of things i had forgotten. it's going to be cool when i've had this for about a year and reading it from the beginning.

so i have discovered something new about myself, which i have bee doing for a long time, but just took note of it. when i discover a new band or just discover that i really like them after knowing about them for a while, i listen to them for about a week straight, and i usually have one of their songs stuck in my head for that period. for example, a few weeks ago the band was enter the worship circle, and this week it has been leeland. then, if i have their cd, i will rotate through the cd's and listen to them at intervals. it's kind of funny. i wonder if everyone does this. hmmm.

last night i was just observing our youth group. it gave me hope. i saw the members of the worship team and it made me smile. they were worshiping in practice and everything was just molding together perfectly. honestly i have been a little concerned lately, but God has just been telling me over and over and over and over that everything is going to be okay. i think it's finally beginning to become reality to me. yey!

i've had this excitement in me for the future and its rising and bubbling up again. when i was looking back, i was greatful for the experiences that i had this summer, but now it is time to look ahead at the rising sun.

I don't want to lose a common ground
With the whole world upside-down
I don't want to fight about it now
And the world was burning out
we are one tonight
and were singing it out
we are one tonight
and were dreaming out loud
and the world is flawed,
but these scars will heal
-switchfoot

weekly update:

so this week was full of excitement!

mon: i was out of school and got to spend time with Jamison, sushi, family, and grandma's home cooked fried
chicken(yum!)
tues: don't really remember (i know, sad)
wed: communion with Jesus but feeling disconnected and not really on track
thurs: meeting three awesome loving God people and got to learn more and more...wonderful worship with people
who really are passionate about the Lord (leeland and brothers and sisters) and..........i got a t-shirt!!!!!!
fri: first home game of the season (we lost [35-21]) which was loads of fun because i am no longer attached to a 40
pound weight. and after we traveled to beff's with new and old friends.

i am very thankful for fun times with awesome friends. i just wish i would get the courage to impact their lives. i am so glad this thing has spell check because i am horrible at spelling at 12:11am. and i have decided that i am going to post lyrics every time i post a new one, so here's the lyrics for today:

i was carried to the table
seated where i don’t belong
carried to the table
swept away by His love
and i don’t see my brokenness anymore
when i’m seated at the table of the Lord
i’m carried to the table
the table of the Lord
leeland-carried to the table

He carries me to the places i'm most unworthy of everyday. He gives me the grace for another day when i deserve hell. He owes me nothing! even though....i ravish Him. i hear this so often and it becomes cliche. i want it to be renewed. if i don't have a new revelation everyday, it begins to fade away in the darkness. He loves me. HE loves ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! my God is too good for me, but i love Him too much to let that keep me from Him, and He feels the same. we are attracted like magnets. nothing can keep us apart. so:

count me in.

light up my life

light up my life

with a love so bright i deny anything with a lesser glow than knowing you
unlock my soul in a way i've never known
crawl into your garden
find your home in me
-the wonderful luke wood

and:

i
REALLY
miss you kasey

fun word of the day:

plethora-

excess; overabundance